He made me smiled and laughed every time we meet, but now everything had changed.
It had been quite a while since I had a crush and he would be my first high school crush. I met him in Science class but we never talked until the year after, I added him on Facebook. Who knew that Facebook would be a pathway to a whole new friendship? I talked to him and added him on MSN and soon we began to talk. Because of my terrible freshman year, I was extremely insecure of myself and I was known as a Loser with a capitol L. Backstabbing, lying, cheating, bitch, whore, skank; those words were everywhere. It couldn't be helped. I came to him to share my feelings and he helped me become a better person, more secured and loving. After talking to him I felt like I had refreshed myself for a whole new world.
During my second year in high school, I started to make more friends and I began to laugh more. Even he was noticing that I was more happy. I even made up for my best friend and she forgave me for what I have done in the past, leaving her for the popular people. He, my best friend and I became pretty close and I liked it. But there was something that made me feel that I was much more than my best friend is to him. His jokes, his comfort, his entertainment, his love. No doubt I had fallen in love with him.
It seemed quite obvious that I liked him and I knew he was fully aware of what was going on. He acted like nothing happened at all and just treated me as a friend. I wished he treated more than a friend. Everyday, he would be a gentleman and I would be slightly attracted to him. His umbrella trick on rainy days while walking home together. Boy, I sure missed that.
Just that one day, he hurted me quite badly. I was offended because I gave him a gift but he returned it to me. After thinking about it, it wasn't as bad as I thought. But soon I found out he was a player. Nothing more but a playboy, manwhore, flirter. That fucking bastard. I was hurted. Of course, seeing him with the other girls, one by one, just him and them. I guess you could say I was jealous. I didn't like him much anymore and I wished our history would perished but unfortunately it wasn't.
Summer holidays were here and I took an online course. He took it was well and so did this guy I know. We worked together for this project at his house and played Rock Band. It was an unforgetable night but was I attracted to him or was I leaning more towards the guy I knew? I guess I was talking to person B on MSN to try to forget him and it actually worked.
I felt like a recycled juice box. I was used then thrown away and then reused for environmental issues. He came back to me, or I came to him. The avoiding thing wasn't going out as planned. I went to his church camp because my other best friend went so I decided to tag along but I didn't realize I would be seeing him. On the second day of camp, it was raining and there goes the umbrella trick that I fell for but this time, I felt nothing. I was apathetic. I knew he was hitting on this other girl.
Now, I still talked to him but not as much as before. Things happened but I know life goes on. He's now pretty tight with the other girl at camp. But I hope she realized that he's not taking this too seriously.
